Tom McRae is love!
Feb. 13th, 2008 09:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kaaatieI think I've mentioned this previously, but it's worth mentioning again. Tom McRae is a singer-songwriter from England, and he's very talented, and he writes some hilarious journal entries on his website.
I really dislike Cate Blanchet, and I particularly disliked her role in Lord of the Rings, so I find this entry hilarious! Here it is:
I have been watching "Lord of The Rings", it sometimes helps to have a familiar film I can ignore playing in the background as I try to wring fresh chord progressions from the guitar, my mind momentarily distracted by hobbits and orcs. But something bothers me. The bit where Frodo visits Cate Blanchet who is Queen of something or other in some woody bit of Middle Earth (you may have gathered by now that I'm not an expert). Anyway, she is momentarily tempted by the ring, and she goes all scary and her eyes look like mine in the morning, then she calms down, considers the little hobbit before her, frail and small - and it has to be said not best suited for to the daunting task at hand - she looks at Frodo, knowing full well that he's off to do battle with Orcs and giant spiders etc --- risking life and limb in the land of all-holy-fuck-evil (experts call it Moooooordddddddddoooor), she looks at him and what does she do? She sypmathises with his almost certain imminent death, wishes him well, and, wondering what she (a mighty powerful Queen of something) --- wondering what she can do to help him, short of going along herself (and talking in that stupid voice, a voice so annoying Saruman would probably save Frodo the trouble and jump into the volcano with the ring just to escape her) --- she wonders what she can possibly do to help --- and finally she hits upon an idea, I know, this little fella's off to save the world, against the odds, what might he really find useful on his quest? she ponders this... and... She gives him.... a fucking torch. Except it's not so much a torch, more of a glo-stick. Seriously. A fragile glass vial containing fluid that illuminates the darkest places. Awesome. I'm about to be stabbed in the balls by a giant spider, but at least now I can see the look in its eyes as it eats me. Thanks. She couldn't give him something useful like a fairy bazooka, or some magic high powered explosive orc killing device...no, a glo-stick. If I was Frodo I'd have thrown it in her fucking fairy face. He's off to save the world from evil, he's not going to a fucking rave off the M25. Jesus.
I told you it bothered me.
This: (and talking in that stupid voice, a voice so annoying Saruman would probably save Frodo the trouble and jump into the volcano with the ring just to escape her) is my favourite part!! It's so true!!
Or maybe this: He's off to save the world from evil, he's not going to a fucking rave off the M25. Jesus.. *laughs* Tom is hilarious!
I really dislike Cate Blanchet, and I particularly disliked her role in Lord of the Rings, so I find this entry hilarious! Here it is:
I have been watching "Lord of The Rings", it sometimes helps to have a familiar film I can ignore playing in the background as I try to wring fresh chord progressions from the guitar, my mind momentarily distracted by hobbits and orcs. But something bothers me. The bit where Frodo visits Cate Blanchet who is Queen of something or other in some woody bit of Middle Earth (you may have gathered by now that I'm not an expert). Anyway, she is momentarily tempted by the ring, and she goes all scary and her eyes look like mine in the morning, then she calms down, considers the little hobbit before her, frail and small - and it has to be said not best suited for to the daunting task at hand - she looks at Frodo, knowing full well that he's off to do battle with Orcs and giant spiders etc --- risking life and limb in the land of all-holy-fuck-evil (experts call it Moooooordddddddddoooor), she looks at him and what does she do? She sypmathises with his almost certain imminent death, wishes him well, and, wondering what she (a mighty powerful Queen of something) --- wondering what she can do to help him, short of going along herself (and talking in that stupid voice, a voice so annoying Saruman would probably save Frodo the trouble and jump into the volcano with the ring just to escape her) --- she wonders what she can possibly do to help --- and finally she hits upon an idea, I know, this little fella's off to save the world, against the odds, what might he really find useful on his quest? she ponders this... and... She gives him.... a fucking torch. Except it's not so much a torch, more of a glo-stick. Seriously. A fragile glass vial containing fluid that illuminates the darkest places. Awesome. I'm about to be stabbed in the balls by a giant spider, but at least now I can see the look in its eyes as it eats me. Thanks. She couldn't give him something useful like a fairy bazooka, or some magic high powered explosive orc killing device...no, a glo-stick. If I was Frodo I'd have thrown it in her fucking fairy face. He's off to save the world from evil, he's not going to a fucking rave off the M25. Jesus.
I told you it bothered me.
This: (and talking in that stupid voice, a voice so annoying Saruman would probably save Frodo the trouble and jump into the volcano with the ring just to escape her) is my favourite part!! It's so true!!
Or maybe this: He's off to save the world from evil, he's not going to a fucking rave off the M25. Jesus.. *laughs* Tom is hilarious!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-12 10:55 pm (UTC)LMAO!
(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-17 06:31 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-12 11:07 pm (UTC)You've just ended my stressful tiresome day with a bag full of giggles! First the
stalkerboy next door (to your parents, heee), and now this. *lol*And also, your icon is frickin' awesome! XD *squee*
(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-17 06:31 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-12 11:29 pm (UTC)Also, that entry was
kind ofpretty damn funny ^_^(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-17 06:32 am (UTC)Glad you enjoyed the entry! :)
(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-13 12:12 am (UTC)Bwahahaha! Can't join you in the Cate hate (just don't get me starting on fucking Miranda Otto), but this is hilarious!
(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-17 06:33 am (UTC)Your icon is awesome too! I love it! :)
(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-13 03:59 am (UTC)I have to agree with you on the last bit: He's off to save the world from evil, he's not going to a fucking rave off the M25.
Though I have to confess, I like Cate Blanchet, but I still find this hilarious. 'Cause it so is (and very true too!)
(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-17 06:35 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-13 01:38 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-17 06:34 am (UTC)